Doodlebug and I have some of our best conversations when he is sitting on the toilet. Tonight he told me that he wished he was a girl so he could grow up and lay eggs. Before I could interject, he rapid-fire asked me how old he would be when I died? Needless to say, the conversation steered itself in another direction.
I told him he would be an old man when I died. Then he asked who would be the kids in our house when he was old and I was old and I said that maybe he would have kids and they would be in the house. “Oh yeah!” he said, “When I grow up I’m gonna have a seed in my body and I can put the seed into your body and that’s how we can grow more babies for our house!” (“Yeah, like radishes!”)
First I told him how impressed I was with his 4 year-old reproductive smarts. Then I broke the news that, as his mommy, I would not be having his baby. “Why?” he asked. “Because I can’t be a grandma and a mama, can I? You are going to have to find another girl to grow your baby.” He understood the conflicting role thing quickly and moved on.
“I know!” he said, “I can find another girl and put my seed in her body and she will have a baby and then I will be the dada and Goofus can be the dada too!” “What? No, you and your brother can’t both be the dada” I said. “Why not? Babies can have two dadas you know!” “Yeah, I know….” Aww crap. I’m tired and this conversation is getting complex.
So the 4 year-old thinks the two best ways to have a baby would be: 1. with his mom or, 2. with his brother and a surrogate. Big whoop. These things have a way of working themselves out…I assume. Besides, “Family” is one of the few games he and Goofus play peacefully and without (so far) head injuries. I left the error uncorrected.