Out of the Mouths of Babes

Doodlebug’s lyrics for Baa Baa Black Sheep
Baa baa black sheep have you any wool?  Yes sir, yes sir 3 bags full.  One for the bastard, one for the lame, and one for the little girl who lives down the drain.

DB: “Mama, can you help me write a note?”
Me: “Sure, what do you want to say?”
DB: “Dear Mama, I’m sorry I said I don’t love you.  I just love you.”

Goofus: “Mama, feel my forehead, I think I have a beaver.” 

Goofus: “Mama, your breath smells like old french fries.”

Me: “Goofus quit playing with your penis at the dinner table.”
Goofus: “I’m not playing with my penis, I’m playing with my ‘esticals.”

Goofus: “Mama?  How come grown-ups don’t like to have fun?
Me: “What do you mean?  Grown-ups have fun.”
Goofus: “I know they have fun; I said they don’t like to have fun.”

© Jennifer Sparklebritches and Poop In My Hair, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to and Poop In My Hair with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.



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2 responses to “Out of the Mouths of Babes

  1. Merrill

    OMG Jennifer, these are laugh out loud funny. I love what kids say…AWESOME!!

  2. Holly

    Keep it coming, Jen. Between the stand-up bits and this, oh my god, hilarious! Did those lyrics really come out of his mouth? My version: when Rowan was 14 months old, we were in traffic and a driver cut me off. I said (doing my level best not to swear), “Grrrrrrr!” Rowan said, in a sweet little growl, “Feeeecking A!”

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